Deep down in the pit of my guts, I know what I want.
I'm afraid of some of it, welcoming of most of it, and crying out for the rest.
What do I know is best for me?
A LONG FUCKING LEASH!!!
Well, I don't mean a leash with a choke collar, nor a feeling of control in any way.
I mean a lead that will lead me back to a safe place,
after I have sown some wild oats, or been in solitude,
or gone on an impulsive binge of fun.
As long as I can come and go as I please.
Is my best partner a home-base, and NOT a person?
Or have I got that backwards?
I want a rowdy and scintillating meeting of bodies.
Other times, a romantic love interlude.
Maybe, a long trip to the outskirts of the wilderness to test my fortitude.
Solitude to re-kindle inner balance and my compass again.
I want all of this and more.
Can I have that?
Can you give that?
Not many can, and I know it all too well.
I've known it a long time in fact.
I've chosen to ignore that need sometimes, but it always bites me in the ass.
Honesty now, for as long as I have left.
I know what I want, and I'm done reminding myself.
I know, and I'm going to get it.
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