I've been spending a lot of time thinking when I actually should be sleeping. I haven't minded though, because I love those depths. My dad passed away in January 2019. I was really struggling with wanting to talk to him again. You see, I was able to get messages to him at the hospital with the help of my sister who was at his side. He had had a tracheotomy, so I never got to hear his voice. My sister would tell me his expressions, and what he wrote down as a response. I didn't feel the closure I was looking for. I decided to contact a medium, and I chose one by looking at their photos to FEEL who was right. The woman I chose proved to be amazing at what she does, genuine, and good hearted. Ever since my experience with her, and talking to my dad, things inside of me have shifted. As I have always believed, I now know that souls of those who love us are among us. My dad kept trying to understand why I kept saying I missed him, because he was right HERE. Yes, he was on the other side of that veil people talk about, but still right by my side. When I asked him if he was happy, he said he was fine, but he had a lot of work to do. That really stuck with me. As a child I had ideas of heaven, the planets, and how a person progressed. Children feel things in a pure sense. I believe that they can remember deep inside of them what they know to be true from before they were born. I thought that calendars were round, and had trouble trying to mesh my idea with the squares of today's calendars. I decided that the reason we have many planets and universes, was because as we die and get born again, we go to a new planet.
So, back to me, thinking in bed. Biblically there is a heaven and hell. Mormons have a belief in different levels of the afterlife that include more than just two places to go. I really think that before we get to a planet, we have a plan of action, things to understand and accomplish. The more we get right, and the more we get done, helps us to progress on the spiritual level. The more we get wrong, or screw-up, or don't learn, the less developed our spirit is after we die. Heaven is then a feeling with a barometer of accomplishment and happiness. The more you got right in life, the better your feeling of heaven is. The more you got wrong in life, your heaven is not as happy, its more like a hell if you will. My dad had regrets, he mentioned there were things he did wrong, he felt sorrow over not righting these things when on earth. So, is there really a hell of fire and brimstone and endless suffering? I like to think that indeed there are spirits who have to suffer for what they've done. They cannot progress for quite awhile. They can't progress as others can. Just like in life, we're all on our own paths. I know there is a Great Spirit, The Source, The Matrix. Civilizations through the eons knew it too. Where do we come from, and where do we go?
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Stay tuned for Part Two where I explore Quantum Physics! I promise it will be cool.
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